A Liberated Woman

2011-11-08T19:43:00.000-05:00

UHP Presents...

liberated.

Liberating women to fund their education and excel academically.

Scholarship Info Session

in collaboration with

The Pentagon Project

Thursday 11.10.11

Hale Hall Lounge

Noon to 2pm

Refreshments will be served.

www.thepentagonproject.org

A Liberated Woman in the Arts

2011-08-24T22:29:00.000-04:00

As the first African American soloist with American Ballet Theatre in twenty years, Misty Copeland, who never dreamed of becoming a ballerina, is truly a liberated woman.

A Sweet Summer Treat...

2011-05-17T22:30:00.001-04:00

Take a little time to yourself and make yourself a simple treat!

Fruit Pizza

Ingredients:

1 roll sugar cookie dough
1 jar marshmallow creme
1 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened
Choose any 3 fruits: Strawberries, bananas, white grapes, pineapple, kiwi, blueberries, raspberries...

Pat dough into pizza pan and bake (as directed on cookie dough package).

2. Mix marshmallow cream and softened cream cheese together.

3. Spread on cookie and decorate with fruit.

Something you should see and SHARE! Celebrate All Blackness

2011-05-02T20:10:00.000-04:00

Freedom Starts with Me

All Blk Evrything'

www.allblk.com

Check out the video!

Meet our 2010-2011 Scholarship Winner - Camille Brunson!

2011-04-10T23:34:00.002-04:00

Evidently it's very good for our health...

2011-04-04T00:46:00.000-04:00

In an evening class at Stanford the last lecture was on the mind-body connection - the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (Head of Psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.

Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers, and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!

So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health! We are indeed very, very lucky. Sooooo let's toast to our friendship with our girlfriends.

Evidently it's very good for our health.

Celebrating Women's History Month...

2011-03-08T15:41:00.001-05:00

A Liberated Woman in Politics

2011-02-07T21:37:00.000-05:00

For more than a decade, Carol Moseley Braun has been breaking racial and gender barriers in the political arena. The Chicago native was elected Cook County Recorder of Deeds with more than one million votes cast in her favor, making her the first woman and the first African-American to hold executive office in Cook County government. Most notably, in 1993, Braun was elected to the United States Senate, becoming the first African-American female elected to the U.S. Senate.

During her time in office, Braun did not take her position lightly. She was an advocate for healthcare and education reform-writing the Educational Infrastructure Act, designed to help bring education funding to low-income communities. Currently, as a mayoral candidate for the city of Chicago, Braun continues to serve her community by forming coalitions of people from all backgrounds who are committed to the same values of how government should best represent the people, which is the mark of a liberated woman.

We are The Pentagon Project.

2011-01-31T13:19:00.001-05:00

$500 Book Scholarship

2010-11-29T00:00:00.033-05:00

The Pentagon Project will accept applications beginning Monday, November 29^th and ending Monday, January 31st.

REQUIREMENTS:

Open to Black female, full-time, 1^st – 4^th year undergraduates at Tennessee State University
A minimum cumulative GPA of 3.0
Minimum of 10 hours of community service
One recommendation (recommendation may be from a faculty/staff member, community leader, or supervisor)
One official transcript (from TSU Records Office - postmarked by Friday, January 28th)
250-500 word response to the following prompt:

“Black women have resilience, whether we like it or not." -Maya Angelou
Do you agree? Tell us why or why not.

Click the links below:

2011 Scholarship Application

2011 Scholarship Applicant Recommendation Form

Questions ... E-mail us at thepentagonproject@gmail.com

2010-11-28T23:53:00.000-05:00

"Whether you have a Ph.D., or no D, we're in this bag together. And whether you're from Morehouse or Nohouse, we're still in this bag together. Not to fight to try to liberate ourselves from the men -- this is another trick to get us fighting among ourselves -- but to work together with the black man, then we will have a better chance to just act as human beings, and to be treated as human beings in our sick society."

~Fannie Lou Hamer

I am a feminist. Period. A feminist.

And while we are in the labeling business, let me give a few more labels about me.

I am an educator. I am a friend. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a woman (duh). And here comes the biggest, baddest, betcha didn't see this one coming.....I am a WIFE.

Oh yeah. I am a wife. Some man, and not just some man, a strong, educated man, chose to marry this card-carrying feminist. And before you get into wondering what type of marriage we have, let me tell you that it is stable, happy, and full of love and submission.

The reason I bring this up because each of our lives are a series of labels that people cast upon us or sometimes that we cast upon ourselves. A long time ago, I decided to add the label feminist to my growing list and in the process received flack and grief from others. Instantly, people started checking to see if I was wearing a bra, and just knew that I was a ball-busting woman that would never get married because I despised men, specifically black men too much.

To this I reveal another one of my labels: I am a Daddy's Girl.

I do not hate men. I never have and my goal is to never hate them.

In today's society, we have a lot of female ball-busters. Not feminists, ball-busters. I have no desire to be politically correct and say "men-haters" so lets just call these women what they are. There is an epidemic emerging of women that love step on the ego, spirit, and nerves of every man around them.

Contrary to popular labels, these women are not feminists. If you examine the true definition of a feminist you will find that a feminist is merely a person that believes in equal and fair rights for all people and that no woman be judge or disenfranchised on the grounds of her gender.

Go up to your nearby ball-buster, and when she gives you a moment to speak, ask her if she is a feminist. Her response will most likely be no but if by chance she says yes, ask her for the definition.

(Insert blank stare)

Most likely, you will not receive a solid definition.

I say all of this to say, many things. The first being, kill the label sterotypes. Okay, I am a feminist, but I still stopped while writing this blog to get my husband a drink of water from downstairs. Would a ball-buster do that? We, feminists get a bad rap.

The second message in my madness refers back to Ms. Hamer's quote. We as black people spend SOOOO much time pointing the fingering, blaming others for where we are but we never take the time to realize that the blame game leads to destruction. Destruction of the self, the home, the race, and the community. We are slowly but surely decaying into a group of finger-pointers, whiners, and ball-busters.

Light-skin. Dark-skin. Rich. Poor. Bougie. Uppity. Ghetto. Urban. Man. Woman. Baby Mama. Baby Daddy.

Lets do away with this. Let us not dwell on the invidiual labels that continue to divide us, but instead focus on the one label that can potentially encompass everyone: I am the people.

If you do it, I will even put the fire extinguisher to my bras and cook dinner for my husband. For a while, we just need to wear one label.

I am the people.

The Fact...

2010-11-27T23:38:00.000-05:00

The fact that the adult African American female emerges a formidable character is often met with amazement, distaste and even belligerence. It is seldom accepted as an inevitable outcome of the struggle won by survivors, and deserves respect if not enthusiastic acceptance. -Maya Angelou

Don't worry...

2010-11-16T23:14:00.000-05:00

Four Women

2010-11-12T13:33:00.009-05:00

Coming Soon 2011 $500 Book Scholarship

2010-11-11T15:04:00.009-05:00

The Pentagon Project will accept applications beginning

Monday, November 29th and ending Monday, January 31st.

REQUIREMENTS:

Open to Black female, full-time, 1^st – 4^th year undergraduates at Tennessee State University.

A minimum cumulative GPA of 3.0.
Minimum of 10 hours of community service.
One recommendation (recommendation may be from a faculty/staff member,community leader, or supervisor).
One official transcript (from TSU Records Office - postmarked by Friday, January 28th)
250-500 word response to essay prompt on application.

Questions ... E-mail us at thepentagonproject@gmail.com

2010-11-11T14:21:00.007-05:00

My recipe for life is not being afraid of myself, afraid of what I think or of my opinions.

~ Eartha Kitt

The Valedictorian Ventriloquist is a Queen.

2010-06-02T20:07:00.000-04:00

Presenting The Pentagon Project's Second Book Scholarship Winner TIFFANY WILLIAMS

2010-02-25T13:13:00.005-05:00

The Pentagon Project $500 Book Scholarship

2010-01-05T18:50:00.019-05:00

The Pentagon Project will accept applications beginning
Wednesday January 6th and ending Saturday February 6th.

REQUIREMENTS:

Open to Black female, full-time, 1^st – 4^th year undergraduates at Tennessee State University
A minimum cumulative GPA of 3.0
Minimum of 10 hours of community service
One recommendation (recommendation may be from a faculty/staff member,community leader, or supervisor)
One official transcript (from TSU Records Office - postmarked by February 5th)
250-500 word response to the following prompt:

“Do you love being a black woman? Tell us why.”

Click the links below:

2010 Scholarship Application

2010 Scholarship Applicant Recommendation Form

Questions ... E-mail us at thepentagonproject@gmail.com

Unconditional Love

2009-12-25T22:45:00.003-05:00

I often wondered how a mother could forgive her child time and time again for misbehaving, or how a woman could take back her adulterous husband. As I fight with myself on my inability to loathe this one particular human being for the pain that he evoked, I realize that my heart will not allow me to carry out such an easy feat.

Hating him would be simple, but loving him in spite of his flaws is stretching me. Furthermore, it is a true indication of my love...not stupidity. Stupidity would be allowing my emotions to control my actions, and not allowing my true character to guide them. Now, I am NO fool....love ain't blind, and people will try you!

This is merely an admission that despite the hurt caused by another I realize that I am capable of forgiveness. Moreover, I have a greater grasp and appreciation for those who are able to transcend their circumstances. Namely, I am able to minutely comprehend Christ's love for all of us. Time and time again, we all fail him and disregard the grace and mercy He bestows upon us, yet He continues to love and protect us. Why? Because His love for us runs deeper than our minds are able to fathom.

Unconditional love...what a notion. The very idea that one person could forgive another and move forward used to escape me completely. I realize now that unconditional love is humanly possible...difficult, but possible.

2009-11-29T19:09:00.009-05:00

My identity is very clear to me now,
I am a black woman.
~Lena Horne

The Solution: TBD

2009-10-14T11:41:00.002-04:00

No one has yet to answer my question. Was it it the rage of the NWA era? The peace and love of the 60's? Or the "YEEAAH" era of Lil John at the turn of the millennium. The question...

Where did it all go wrong?!

Every time I sit and ponder this question I am drawn to the question asked by Cora Daniels in her provocative book, Ghetto Nation: Why does ghetto have so much pull?

In search of the answer, I have been led to sit and watch (yes, I do a lot of sitting). I observe my students, randoms on the street, the Christians at my church and everyone that crosses my path. All of this sitting and watching has led me to 2 conclusions. 1) I am getting big from this lack of movement and 2) laziness is the answer.

In order to answer Cora's question, we would first have to answer my question: why does laziness have so much pull?

Almost every problem in our current existence can be attributed to laziness. Every time that YOU have ever sat and wondered, can be summed up in this one word. For example, dirty streets are due to people being too lazy to pick up something. Sagging pants can be attributed to young men being too lazy to reach all the way down to pick up their pants (and the laziness of reading tags that tell you that the pants are a 42' waist while you where a 36'). The greatest form of laziness that has left many a people sitting and wondering are the "creative" new names and spellings of names. This too is due to laziness. There are many parents that are too lazy to grab a dictionary or phonics book to realize that a letter, like a R or T, cannot be silent just because you want it to!

Now that I have gotten one step closer to figuring out the solution to my initial problem, I am left sitting and thinking about finding the solution. So as I sit...wait a minute. There maybe something that I am missing and so is everyone else. As we sit and think we too are guilty of the crime of laziness.

The solution: GET UP AND DO SOMETHING!

If the street is dirty, clean it up! If a young man's pants are hanging low, maybe no one has told him that he looks foolish. If creative spellings are a problem, become a mentor with a reading and phonics program.

The answer lies in us! Get up people! What is wrong with us? We, the gifted, have gotten lazy. With all that being said, I am (literally) getting up to talk to my students and maybe the gym later....maybe.

Conflict Resolution

2009-09-27T09:53:00.004-04:00

I'm conflicted. I'm being forced to drudge up and converse with a part of myself that, for a while now, I have kept secure in my subconscious.

This part of myself is elated to converse with me and tell me what she has observed as a mere fly on the wall of my conscious mind...but I'm hesitant to hear what she has to say.
She knows too much...every ulterior motive, underlying thought and heartfelt emotion is at her disposal to be immediately archived and filed away in the reference library of my life.

However, I feel as if I may need to talk with her. Maybe she can help me determine and decipher all of these thoughts and feelings that seem to have arrested my conscious mind as of late. Looking at my situation through her objective eyes should give reason to my way of thinking and allowance for what I feel in my heart.

Or should it? Do I really need her to help determine what's going on with me? Am I really just looking for a psychological crutch to lean on so that I won't have to ride this winding emotional roller coaster all by myself? Or am I just so jaded that I refuse to visit that vulnerable, flawed and brutally honest part of myself for fear that I might be discovered as not having it all together? Maybe...or maybe not.

The only thing I know for sure is that I need a resolution...an ending to an as yet to be determined beginning of emotional conflict.

2009-08-27T18:06:00.001-04:00

Hope

2009-07-23T21:22:00.011-04:00

"We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" The words from Marianne Williamson's Return to Love rang in my ears as I drove past the very scene in the video below.

What started off as a routine drive to work quickly ended when I saw a myriad of SWAT trucks, ambulances, and police cars lining my street. Caution tape drapped the very courtyard that I used to walk down daily with my Me-Ma as a little girl. How unfortunate is it that I quickly assumed that "another" shooting had occurred? Yet, never before had so much law enforcement been on the scene. I later learned that a suicidal 28 year old man was holding the police at bay.

Yet, there is no outcry. Only humor from surrounding communities. How did this once prominent, historically African American community become the laughing stock of the Queen City? Even residents of the housing development where the scene took place admit that it looks like wet toilet paper when it rains.

The development was created decades ago under Roosevelt's administration for the engineers and workers who helped build the local General Electric plant. This village once had its own thriving economy and school district. Now, the effects of desegregation and gerrymandering are evident in my neighborhood. Many of the residents are not even aware of its rich history. Moreover, the illustrious citizens it produced like the Isley Brothers and Nikki Giovanni.

My thoughts go to the young women and men posted on block behind my house who will never have the opportunities I have been granted. Much like the young man involved in today's scene, they have lost hope. Their loss often made me feel guilty for being blessed. Yet, Willamsom's word bring me back to reality.

If I loose hope, who will carry the torch of those the self-less African Americans who created the village in the 1940s? If I loose hope, who will be the example for the students at Lincoln Heights Elementary School who dream of going to college or into the military? More importantly, if I loose hope, who will tell our story?

I cannot depend on the media to tell our story because they only show the footage you see below! Somehow they miss people like me who graduate from college Magna Cum Laude and proceed to graduate studies, the entrepreneur who mentors aspiring business owners, the minister who provides financial and spiritual guidance to his neighbors, or the woman who opens her home to parent-less children.

"We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" Today, I say, "Village of Lincoln Heights have hope. Hope seeps from the infrastructure of this community. Peel away the boards, the misconceptions, and I promise you will find hope...I did."

Seasons change (and people do too)

2009-06-28T18:45:00.006-04:00

There are things we do on a seasonal basis...like clockwork.

Go through our closets and donate clothes we have NO intention of wearing ever, ever, ever again - this includes that "skort" from 1992
Prepare our minds for midterms, finals, major annual projects for work, and any other ongoing events that plague our minds for more than two weeks at a time per year
Get an oil change (or remove the sticker in the upper left hand corner of our windshield so our friends/family won't know how long we are overdue, but eventually it gets done)
Pull out the toe separaters, so we can keep our toenails poppin' for the summer - all day, everyday

These things come naturally for the most part. We don't need post-it notes, cell phone calendar reminders, or nudges from our friends to keep us on track. Yet, there is one thing that is so hard to do as the seasons change...remove people from our lives. Everyone who walks into our lives is there for a reason, and a good number of those people should only be there for a season. This is not to say that every time we change the batteries in our smoke detectors we should be removing someone from our life. Seasonal people come with their own pre-assigned shelf-life that does not match the calendar year, and it's because of this that we lose track of who has been taking our joy, pulling us down, dampening our spirits, or simply not adding any value to our lives.

So, imagine if we just simplified our lives one bit...

Here is the charge (for my liberated women):

When you are rummaging through your closet, putting off that much-needed oil change :-), or searching for your toe separaters just take one moment, just one moment of your time to sit back and ask yourself...

"Who are the seasonal people in my life?"

Answer the question honestly.

Then take the sometimes difficult, but always rewarding steps towards sweeping them out of your life...

just like you would when you pick up that broom for your annual spring cleaning.

Gotta get it done.

Affirmation: I am a queen.

2009-06-22T11:05:00.007-04:00

I am a queen.

There is no one like me.

All that I need to succeed is already inside of me.

It always has been and it always will be.

There are gifts and talents that only I can contribute.

I am a queen.

I am the hope of my family.

I am the dream of my people.

I am the future of this nation.

I am the beginning of a new world.

I am a queen.

I am the leader of many.

I am the pity of none.

I am the power of my ancestors.

I am the strength of my struggle.

I own today.

I embrace tomorrow.

I am a queen.

I am royalty.

~Sherrae M. Hayes

Me and My (Older) Man

2009-06-18T09:32:00.010-04:00

Okay, I have a little confession to make…I dig older men.

I love and admire older men like Gordon Parks, Ossie Davis, Barack Obama, Melvin Van Peebles and John H. Johnson. Their individual stories of struggle and success, their creative and innovative minds, and most importantly their dedication to their families remind me of one older man that I absolutely adore: my dad.

I fell head over heels in love with my dad the first time I laid eyes on him that fateful Sunday morning back in 1986. A slender brown-skinned specimen with long, wavy hair and big, bright brown eyes (just like mine!), I knew from that moment on that we would be inseparable. His intelligence intrigues me. His self confidence amazes me. The unconditional love & adoration he has for me humbles this self-professed grown woman into the little girl I remember who snuck and slept by the front door…on the floor… awaiting her daddy’s return home from work.

I remember when my mom found out about my secret sleeping arrangements. She had a fit. My dad explained to her that he knew I was sleeping behind the door so he would open it slow enough to nudge me awake...this would then prompt me to get up so he could open the door completely. My mom tried to stop me. It didn’t work. I was determined to be the first person to see my dad when he stepped through that door. After a number of failed attempts (and probably a little crying on my part), she gave me a pillow and a blanket and left the situation alone. Eventually I grew out of sleeping by the door, but even now when I’m back at home I can’t sleep unless I know that my dad is in the house with me.

We’ve shared many fond memories, my daddy and me. And now that I think about it...all of those memories involve him teaching me something: how to read, how to wash clothes, how to tell time, how to write a poem, how to check out books from the library (and how to pay late fees), how to ride a bike, how to build a diorama, how to drive (even though I almost clipped a postman and ran into him!), how to check my oil, how to use a tire gauge, how to fix my toilet when it’s making that ‘whirring’ sound, how to deal with difficult situations in the workplace and the list goes on and on.

He’s a cool guy, my dad. The essence of cool I think; more than worthy of an Ebony cover in honor of his coolness. He has his own style…his own swagger…that which inspires me to define and embrace my own. I’m blessed to have him in my life as the prototype of what a man/husband/father should be, and appreciate all of the other men out there who are striving to be the same for their families.

In closing, don't forget to celebrate our fathers and father figures this upcoming holiday and everyday for that matter! There are men out here working hard to do and be the best that they can and they deserve a pat on the back every once in a while. Ya’ dig?

Putting things into Perspective

2009-06-10T09:17:00.002-04:00

I am the resident life commentator. I am the one that is expected to share my sarcastic and often sardonic wit with the world. I have no sensor and people expect to hear my thoughts. (Note: People EXPECT to hear my thoughts. This is totally different from people WANTING to hear my thoughts.) Even in the midst of a screaming match, I laugh. What can I say? It is a gift and a curse that is a pre-requisite to carry my parents’ DNA. We are good to pass a joke at a funeral. Laughter is our medicine.

But what happens when there is nothing to laugh about…

Both of my parents are currently sitting at home.

While the rest of the world is in a recession, my beloved city of Detroit is in a DEPRESSION.

Every day I attempt to educate a group of students who light up my world but darken my hopes for the future.

My front windshield is cracked.

My feet are flat AND I rock a size 11. Finding shoes is a literal nightmare.

The Lakers are going to win another championship.

Facebook is stalking me.

Jimmy from Degrassi is the hottest rapper out now.

In short, things are all bad right now!!!!

In case, you were not quick enough to catch it, I am using some more of that wit I told you about.

There is ALWAYS something to smile at and there will ALWAYS be something (or some fool) to laugh at.

My parents are not working but they are now able to spend a great deal of time in the house that they spent many years and hours making a home. Yeah Detroit is in a depression but WE single handily invented the middle class and the best shoe game in the world…purple and blue gators anyone?

At least I have a car.

My feet are big but you know what they say about women with big feet! (I am still looking for a response to this, so if you have one send me a message.)

Jimmy/Aubrey Graham/Drake/Random Canadian is that hotness despite his lame beginnings.

And I could go on. It is so much easier to find the bad in a situation but only the strong find the humor to move on. When have you ever heard someone say, “Look at that girl over there, she has a beautiful scowl!” I would believe never; therefore do what the random guy on the street trying to hit on you tells you to do, SMILE!

And while you are at it, LAUGH! Doing so will allow you to LIVE!

As cliché as it may sound, laughter is the best policy.

And honestly, did you think that I would stop using sarcasm? I’ll do that the day I stop breathing because that’s the day I will stop laughing.

Like a Classic...

2009-05-06T15:42:00.002-04:00

She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that's best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes:

Thus mellow'd to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,

Had half impair'd the nameless grace

Which waves in every raven tress,

Or softly lightens o'er her face;

Where thoughts serenely sweet express

How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow, So soft, so calm, yet eloquent, The smiles that win, the tints that glow, But tell of days in goodness spent, A mind at peace with all below, A heart whose love is innocent! ~Lord Byron

A Poem: Lost and Found

2009-04-08T21:07:00.002-04:00

I was walking by myself, chilling by myself
and then myself ran into You
I introduced myself, You introduced yourself
and we both decided each other was cool
I allowed myself, after warning myself
that myself should not fall completely for You
but I ignored myself, even rejected myself
and allowed myself to get lost in You
You loved myself, and I loved myself
when myself was near and with You
But soon myself became yourself
and the two of us were no longer...two
I didn't live for myself, couldn't breath for myself
because my life and breath were You
And when myself, was by myself...
me and myself just didn't know what to do
So I looked at myself, or what was left of myself, and asked myself what I should do
I stared back at myself, scrunched up my nose at myself, and said
"Excuse me, but who are you?"
That's when I realized for myself, I had to find myself
and that meant letting go of...
You

2009-03-17T17:18:00.004-04:00

Presenting The Pentagon Project's First Book Scholarship Winner

SHANI INGRAM

Hey you..cut the CRAP!!!!

2009-02-23T06:30:00.000-05:00

As I sit here basking in the glow of my computer screen, I'm reminded of something that one of my favorite poets said during her visit to TSU:

"I (didn't) want to be trapped in a house I don't want, with children I don't like, and (living with) a man I don't understand."

Nikki Giovanni said that. At the time, I was fighting my own battle with a man I thought I understood. Nikki's words cut through me like a hot knife through butter. I was ashamed of the fact that I had been trying to make something work that I knew was shattered beyond mending. But I was in love with him...or so I thought. I realized that although I may have loved him, I was never in love with him. It's impossible to be in love with a person you can't fully trust.

A few months later, I parted ways with that man. I made up in my mind that I would never again put my heart on the line for love. A silly resolution I know, but it made perfect sense at the time. Training my mind to see all men as disposable was easy. It's not that I perceived all men as dogs or anything like that...I'm totally against male bashing and how it deters women from seeing the good men all around them. No, I simply set the standards for my 'dream man' so incredibly high that no one, living or dead, would ever be able to achieve them...ever...or so I thought.

Now, I'm not going to get all mushy and gushy and go into a rant about how I met some super incredible guy who swept me off my feet and changed my outlook on love forever. Although I did...and he most definitely did;)

I'll just say that in order for us to receive the gift of love that God has packaged for us, we have to get all this other CRAP out of our hands:

- Mentally and emotionally Crippled people who solely rely on you for moving them beyond their present state

- People who express their supposed love for you through fits of Rage and acts of intimidation

- Apathetic people who already don't care about themselves and care even less about you & your feelings

- Pretentious jerks who are comfortable projecting their insecurities on you, making you feel less than

This wasn't written to incite a movement or start a revolution. I simply wish to remind you that you are destined for greater things. If you keep finding yourself looking at your life and saying "This is a bunch of CRAP!!", well...maybe it is. But realize the only one who can get rid of it is you. The only difference between a person who chose not to settle and one who did is the choice that they made.

Choose wisely. My girl Nikki did, and went on to be one of the most influential voices in African American history.

And just as a lil' somethin' somethin' to get you ready to kick the CRAP out of your life...Nikki Giovanni's "Ego Trippin' (there may be a reason why)"...

2009-01-11T19:17:00.000-05:00

focuses on the personal liberation of women of African descent ~ from the inside, out.

2009-01-11T16:44:00.001-05:00

INTIMACY

2009-01-09T22:40:00.005-05:00

I used to think intimacy was two people consummating their relationship under the auspices of love in a candlelit room with sensual rhythm and blues melodies playing in the background. Yet, as I grow older and quite frankly wiser, I realize intimacy transcends physicality.

Intimacy has become my most trusted confidante. She mocks me saying, “Open your eyes and realize that he is never going to love you!” She offers the crude but oh so real words that my girlfriends would never dare verbalize. Yet, she nestles me in her bosom as I cry unto myself, assuring me that everything I need rests within me.

Intimacy introduces my right to understand myself. She gives me the confidence to reveal the woman that no else will know nor comprehend. She grants me creative license to dream beyond my current state of consciousness. She strips me of my mask that hides my cheeks and shades my eyes, making me vulnerable only to myself.

With her definition no longer tainted by rose petals and glasses of champagne, I know intimacy is loving me for who I am, who I am not, who I am striving to become, who I will never be, ... and the masterpiece in progress that I am.

Com*mence"ment\

2008-12-03T21:11:00.004-05:00

Com*mence"ment\, n. [F. commencement.]

1. The first existence of anything; act or fact of commencing; rise; origin; beginning; start.

There has always been something about commencement ceremonies that have been moving to me. Whether its watching younger cousins fidget in their micro-mini cap and gown and practicing a kindergarten song before marching out to "Pomp and Circumstance" or seeing the tears of someone's grandmother beaming with pride as their grandchild, a first generation college grad, raises a wrapped diploma in the air and screams with joy "I did it!"

Not too long ago, three aliberatedwoman blog writers crossed the stage into a new world, a new beginning, and now we are preparing to celebrate the commencement of our beloved, fourth member of the aliberatedwoman blog sisterhood. For all of us this season of new careers, graduate school, and student teaching has been a new beginning indeed, and once the final tassle has turned we will fully and completely be able to jump into this thing called life.

Aliberatedwoman appreciates commencement in all forms and at all levels, but a truly liberated woman finds joy and peace in watching others cross over into their "first existence." It is in these very moments, that we too start, rise, and begin again.

Ain't No Princes 'Round Here.

2008-12-01T13:12:00.012-05:00

In the case of Womanhood versus Happily Ever After, I would like to call Walt Disney to the stand followed by Cinderella, Snow White and her homies, Belle and her beast, the mermaid girl and her crab. As a matter of fact, go head and wake Sleeping Beauty up, and call her up to the stand too!

These individuals are responsible for filling our minds with idealistic notions that some day a prince would come and save the day. Ladies of the jury, somewhere between reality and never never land some one failed to notify Walt Disney that I, excuse me, you do not look like any of these heifers, for one. More importantly...ain't no princes 'round here! Yes, I said it! We all want to believe that some day a prince will walk into our lives and sweep us off our feet. Well, that hog wash is for little girls! I would like to submit that a prince is not what is needed, but rather a man.

Personally, I prefer a man with a 401K, health benefits, car insurance, a full-time job, an ability to create and stick to a budget, the ability to buy, not finance, a 2 carat Tiffany's white gold diamond ring....a smile that makes my knees weak, charm that can sway me into thinking that he is half way right, a style reminiscent of men like Duke Ellington, a swagger that makes my head hurt trying to rationalize it, and a love of the people so deep that it brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it. Why doesn't he exist in fairy tales?!? Ladies, let me tell you why...because he is real! Yea, they didn't tell you about him because they want to us to think that he is a myth. He doesn't live in a castle nor does he slay dragons. He lives in an apartment, and he fights the stigma that society places on him daily.

Ain't no princes 'round here, but real men are....so little girls of the jury wake up! I ask that you find Walt Disney guilty of selling unattainable dreams. Better yet, find yourself guilty of still believing them.

"I just want to give a special thanks to..."

2008-12-01T00:03:00.006-05:00

Thanksgiving is not one of my favorite holidays.

I would rather draw a turkey from the shape of my hand than attempt to cook one, and count each strand of my hair than go out at anytime on ‘Black Friday’.

The only thing I can appreciate about the holiday is its meaning; taking a moment to stop and really think about what you’re thankful for. There are so many things that we have to be thankful for, most of which we fail to acknowledge on a daily basis, but give special recognition to during the holiday season.

It doesn’t take the end-of-the-year festivities to remind me that I’ve been blessed with a beautiful, loving family, and amazing friends who make up my extended family. The words ‘thanks’ and ‘gratitude’ cannot even begin to express my love and appreciation for each of them, and I try to let them know how much they mean to me as often as possible.

There are a few things however, that I especially want to give a few words of thanks to:

-A peace of mind: At the end of the day, I am comforted in knowing that although everything may seem to be in a whirlwind, that no more than what I can handle is placed upon my shoulders. Everything in life happens for a reason, and at the time and season it is intended. Understanding that allows me a deep, peaceful sleep at night.

-I am nobody’s wife or mother…yet: I adore children, and can see myself married with a house full, but I know that point in time is nowhere in my near future. Right now I like having me, my time, my space, my food, and my money all to myself!! Being able to admit this prevents me from inevitably resenting my future husband and children. I refuse to use them as an excuse as to why I didn’t have the time to explore and celebrate the multi-faceted woman that is me, prior to committing my life to someone else.

-Bills: Not a likely thing to appear on a list such as this, but I’m thankful for them nonetheless! Having, receiving, and (most importantly) PAYING bills reinforce my independence! The fact that I am able to put a roof over my head, put food in my belly, and have health benefits in my name tells me ‘I can do this’; ‘this’ meaning I can provide for myself. Sitting down to write out my monthly budget and payment due dates is truly a liberating experience for me, and something I (oddly) look forward to :)

-My hands: These hands of mine are always doing something…typing, texting, writing, describing, cooking, cleaning, primping, assembling, driving, creating, painting…the list goes on forever and ten days! They’re my makeup tools, my story tellers, and the perfect display models for my latest manicure. Always willing to hang in there, even when the rest of me isn’t, I try to take good care of them, and they most definitely return the favor.

That’s my list, albeit short, and not all-encompassing of the many things I am indeed thankful for, but what about you? Shake yourself out of that honey-baked ham induced coma, and really think about it:

What are you thankful for? What in your life deserves some special recognition?

You don’t have to wait for the holidays to acknowledge it, but there is no time like the present…

Truly Liberated

2008-11-25T11:24:00.005-05:00

All of my mother's best friends are judges. They can become your best friend to if you just check your local listings. Every morning when she rises, she turns on her tv and spends the day with her best friends: Judge Mathis, Judge Brown, and Judge Hatchett. My mother is a little too self-righteous to be friends with Judge Judy but she tolerates her from time to time.

Some might ask if my mother is a stereotypical housewife that eats bon-bons while sitting on the couch in her robe and rollers. Actually she is the antithesis of this woman as on our wall hangs two degrees for which my mother has obtained and a host of plaques and awards. My mother loathes bons-bons, has a closet full of robes collecting dust, as are her rollers since she has cut off all her hair. Despite it all, I admire my mother.

After almost 40 years as an educator my mother spends her mornings and afternoons watching television. While some may call her lazy, I call her retired. Or in other words, liberated. My mother has reached the maximum level of liberated. She has been married to the same man for almost 30 blissful years, has three students that are college graduates, and receives a retirement check every month symbolizing the effort she excerated for so many years.

A devoted mother to many, a phenomenal cook, righteous sister, and most importantly liberated. So I guess at the end of the day, I let her enjoy her courtship with her tv. Who shall judge her?

2008-11-24T19:41:00.008-05:00

"Trust yourself. Think for yourself. Act for yourself. Speak for yourself. Be yourself. Imitation is suicide." ~Marva Collins

2008-11-20T01:37:00.000-05:00

WWMD: What Would Michelle Do?

2008-11-20T00:48:00.008-05:00

Liberated women (and other U.S. citizens :-) came out in record numbers to vote on November 4, 2008, and on November 4, 2008 we elected the first black president of the United States. In the midst of dancing in the streets in DC, shooting fireworks in Chicago, calling our girls on our anytime minutes, and simply whispering "Amen" we not only gained a new president-elect, but we also officially have a first lady to call our own - Michelle Obama.

The first week in November was filled with celebrations, pats on the back, warm handshakes with strangers, and efforts to secure any newspaper released on Nov. 5th. Although the newness of the election still lingers in the air, it will soon fade away. So what shall we do?

What do we do when people cuts us off on the highway?

What do we do when our coworkers continue to be surprised by our "articulation?'

What do we do when our hairdresser gives us a haircut instead of just clipping our ends?

What do we do when a random person on the train/bus tells us to "shut up"

when we clearly are not speaking loudly?

What do we do when we cannot remember where we put our car keys?

What do we do when our paycheck does not cover our monthly expenses?

What do we do when we want to cry, but the world tells us

"You are too pretty not to smile."?

We usually find a way to get through, or we make our own way. The answers are either within or somewhere waiting to be found, but it might be interesting to ask ourselves just for kicks "What Would Michelle Do?"

Most of us haven't had a chance to meet her yet, but we have gotten to know her enough over the past two years that answering this question may not be as hard as we think...maybe even easier than immediately questioning ourselves.

Just an idea ladies...when times get tough, to break the monotony, let's ask ourselves "What Would Michelle Do?"

P.S. Special shotout to http://field-negro.blogspot.com - Nov. 16th post for the inspiration.

2008-11-14T09:14:00.002-05:00

"We go on. Because it is the hard thing to do.

And we owe ourselves the difficulty."

~Nikki Giovanni

A LIBERATED Woman for Obama

2008-10-13T14:03:00.003-04:00

Donna Brazile is not going

to the back of the bus.

She is moving forward.

Are you?

Let us ALL be reminded...(a response to my sistah)

2008-10-13T13:35:00.004-04:00

Slow Down

- Written by a young girl with cancer

Have you ever watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Do you run through each day

On the fly?

When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done

Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through your head?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call and say,'Hi'

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift..

Thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

Sleeping is not a time to rest

2008-10-12T22:16:00.000-04:00

A liberated woman sleeps with a purpose...

Many nights my sleep has been disrupted with dreams (or sometimes nightmares) of my day planner. My dreams create scenarios of events that have been logged in my planner. Even when I try to rest from the events of my life, I can see them in my dreams. Of course I know all of the psychological explanations of the significance of dreams but I was just wondering if I was the only one who awakens tired simply from the strenous efforts that I exert in my dreams? While my body is doing no physical work, my mind is diligently at work...

2008-10-09T12:36:00.000-04:00

The journey begins...

2008-10-09T12:29:00.001-04:00

Our worlds...our experiences...our words...our liberation.